机长广播
A plane had just reached its cruising height when the pilot switched on the intercom to make his usual announcement.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard. This is your captain speaking. We're now flying at 35,000 feet, and the weather looks good, so we should have a nice smooth flight. We expect to land in about two hours. So sit back, relax and – OH MY GOODNESS!"
Then there was silence.
The passengers looked at each other in horror. Nobody said a word. A few people gripped their armrests, and one man started to pray.
After what felt like an eternity, the captain's voice came back on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry if I scared you. While I was talking, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!"
From the back of the plane, a passenger shouted, "You should see the back of mine!"
飞机刚爬升到巡航高度，机长打开广播，照例向乘客致辞。
“女士们，先生们，下午好，欢迎乘坐本次航班。我是机长。我们现在的飞行高度是 35000 英尺，天气看起来不错，应该会是一趟平稳舒适的飞行。我们预计大约两个小时后降落。请大家坐好，放松——哎呀我的天哪！”
接着，广播里一点声音都没有了。
乘客们惊恐地你看看我、我看看你，谁也没说话。有几个人紧紧抓着扶手，还有一个男人开始祈祷。
过了仿佛一辈子那么久，机长的声音又响了起来。
“女士们，先生们，真对不起，吓着大家了。刚才我说话的时候，空乘不小心把一杯热咖啡洒在了我腿上。你们真该看看我裤子的前面！”
飞机后排有个乘客大喊：“你真该看看我裤子的后面！”