機長廣播
A plane had just reached its cruising height when the pilot switched on the intercom to make his usual announcement.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard. This is your captain speaking. We're now flying at 35,000 feet, and the weather looks good, so we should have a nice smooth flight. We expect to land in about two hours. So sit back, relax and – OH MY GOODNESS!"
Then there was silence.
The passengers looked at each other in horror. Nobody said a word. A few people gripped their armrests, and one man started to pray.
After what felt like an eternity, the captain's voice came back on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry if I scared you. While I was talking, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!"
From the back of the plane, a passenger shouted, "You should see the back of mine!"
飛機剛爬升到巡航高度，機長打開廣播，照例向乘客致詞。
「各位女士、各位先生，午安，歡迎搭乘本班機。我是機長。我們現在的飛行高度是 35,000 英尺，天氣看起來不錯，應該會是一趟平穩舒適的飛行。我們預計大約兩個小時後降落。請大家坐好、放輕鬆——哎呀我的天啊！」
接著，廣播裡一點聲音也沒有了。
乘客們驚恐地你看我、我看你，誰也沒說話。有幾個人緊緊抓著扶手，還有一個男人開始禱告。
過了彷彿一輩子那麼久，機長的聲音又響起來了。
「各位女士、各位先生，非常抱歉嚇到大家了。剛才我在說話的時候，空服員不小心把一杯熱咖啡灑在我腿上。你們真該看看我褲子的前面！」
機艙後面有個乘客大喊：「你真該看看我褲子的後面！」